I have been in mourning. For me, this has been a tale of self-punishment. The truth is that since my mother’s unexpected passing a couple of years ago, I have been struggling to maintain a raw food lifestyle, entering into a powerful struggle to maintain my health through raw foods; such has been the impact of the mourning process for me.
As Sistahintheraw during this time, it has felt like a pressure to be at the top of my health game in order to be of inspiration and a mentor for other’s. However I have not been able to maintain this goal for a while now, but I have now regained my healing journey. I can feel that I have finally turned the corner towards improving my heart, health, wellbeing and fitness.
During this sad period, I have “pampered my taste buds” with regular binges into unhealthy cooked foods to satiate my grief. In one year alone, I had 3 major losses, which included loosing my mum, this knocked me off my path. I found it hard to focus, lost my motivation and direction and everything just seemed to fall apart. In the wake of this, I also lost some of my confidence.
I’m happy to say that I’ve had some wonderful bereavement support, both professional and from a great network of close family and friends; but food has remained a huge issue for me. It started as soon as my mum died. Surrounded by a loving family, they provided luscious Caribbean and Indian cultural foods for my sustenance. I didn’t have to think, (but I couldn’t really think clearly anyway at the time), it was like existing in a bubble of shock. Unable to fully function because of the grieving, trying to plan and prepare raw food meals just didn’t happen anymore and I ate whatever was put in front of me; the familiar and delicious traditional dishes prepared by my family and friends.
I found that even months after the formal mourning process was over, I couldn’t stop craving cooked the food and so it continued. My health and weight started to rebel from the impact of this unhealthy regime, but I still couldn’t stop myself, my eating was out of control! My mind and will seemed closed to doing what I knew was best for me. It has been like self punishment, it has been mentally and physically painful and debilitating.
Now, as I emerge from that part of my journey, I am beginning to see where I’ve been and how difficult and unfamiliar the grieving process can be; plus I understand more about the pivotal role which our mind (our thoughts, emotions and feelings) can play when trying to address any health issue. I’ve needed time to recover from the deep shock and malaise, in order to find myself again.
I am ready to kick-start my health and wellbeing and I have embarked on a 21 day juice fast while simultaneously undertaking the Health Restore Life Change Programme with Derin Bepo. The fast involves mainly green juices, water and herbal teas for 21 days to give my digestion a well needed rest; and the Health Restore detox includes herbs to remove toxins, deeply cleanse and purify the body and re-boot my body’s systems. It is a physical, emotional and spiritual rejuvenation that I am now embarking upon.
Along with the fast and Health Restore detox, I shall be resting and meditating. I believe in the universal power of raw food, juicing and cleansing to heal and transform; so my goals are to harness the power of internal physical and spiritual healing, to regain my energy, clarity of mind and motivation; and to reverse ill-health. After the fast, I will also start improving on my physical fitness.
I will share a post with you each week about my progress. So wish me luck!
“Man is a product of his thoughts, what he believes, he becomes” —Mahatma Gandhi
Note: This article is not intended to offer medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified health practitioner before starting any prolonged fast or cleanse.